Question for the ladies?

@IRON ?

:snowflake:

@lrw also. but not sure how active anymore.

I used to think attraction was about picking a “type”…But what I’ve realized is, it’s really about what role I want a man to play in the story I’m telling myself about my life.
Or better yet, what kind of man can meet me where I am, without losing himself in the process?

Because attraction isn’t logical.
It’s emotional.

And what most people don’t realize is that desire isn’t static.
It evolves, based on emotional state, resource access, and context.

When I’m feeling unsettled or looking for escape, I’m drawn to the Primal or the Wanted.
Because those archetypes activate dopamine loops.
The chase. The rollercoaster.
The fantasy of being chosen.
The fantasy of being the exception.

But when I’m grounded, when I know what I want, I lean into the Khan or the Emperor.
The safety. The certainty.
The man I can relax into.

Because my nervous system is regulated.
I’ve done the internal work.
And I’ve seen behind the curtain.

Why?

Because those archetypes don’t just provide desire.
They provide justification for that desire.
They make sense and they feel right.

Because these archetypes create a felt sense of security.

And here’s the part most men miss:

The archetype that “wins” isn’t the one with the flashiest traits.

It’s the one that fits the emotional narrative I’m living in right now. Said another way, the archetype that wins isn’t the one with the flashiest traits. It’s the one who best fits the narrative I’m subconsciously living out at this exact phase of my life.

And here’s the kicker…

Archetypes aren’t identities.
They aren’t masks.
They’re tools.

The most magnetic men?

They don’t perform.
They don’t pretend.
They know who they are, and pull from whatever energy the moment calls for.

One day, he holds the frame like an Emperor.
The next, he plays, jokes, and lives free like the Primal.
And when needed, he steps forward like a Khan, decisive, unwavering, unshakable.

The men who win they’re not stuck in one mode. They own the entire shelf. And they choose when to open each drawer.

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No love for the Renaissance men? The Alchemists? The Dragons, the Commanders, the HEROes, the Golden ones and the Gigolos?


Emperor Daddy + RICH/EoG = Sugar Daddy?

I love this! :point_up:
And the rest of the text. Thank you.

No, more like a mixture of Chosen, Limitless and DD

It’s not how I would perceive Kahn but I guess different people understand the archetype differently. Zero point power.

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Totally get where you’re coming from.

But here’s the deeper layer most people miss when it comes to archetypes:

It’s not about how we perceive them.
It’s about how the nervous system responds to them.

You mentioned “zero point power,” and that’s a beautiful concept.
But power without polarity doesn’t always land.

Khan isn’t just dominant. He’s directive.
He doesn’t posture. He leads.
And in that leadership, he offers something most women’s nervous systems are starving for in a world full of passive men

Permission to soften.
To let go.
To feel safe being seen.

It’s less about the traits, more about what those traits do to the feminine emotional body in a specific moment in time.

So while Khan might not feel “safe” on paper…
To a woman who’s grounded in herself, who’s done the inner work…
He’s not threatening. He’s thrilling.

That’s the nuance.

It’s not about the label.
It’s about the felt experience the man produces.

And the ones who know how to move between archetypes without losing themselves?
Those are the ones who collapse timelines and rewrite women’s stories in a single interaction.

So yeah…different perceptions, for sure.
But it’s not about the man he “is”
It’s about who she gets to become in his presence.

That’s the real win.

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You’re definitely on to something here.

I happened to come to a similar conclusion during my first run of Khan. This is another dimension of mastery, both of self and external reality.

To be able to access any aspect of your being and use it for whatever situation it fits the most. Flowing freely without bounds. It transcends archetypes, just pure self expression.

And you just did a very good job of expressing this concept in the context of romance and sexuality. I think a guy like this will be very deadly.

90% of this is just yapping and mental masturbation like cmon guys. They asked what archetype the girls here like. Lets not make this complicated. Its really not. Yes flexibility is great. Awesome.

this is just mental gymnastics at this point

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Lol, I’m going to agree here. While it’s a nice idea to be able to express all of these different versions of yourself, I think it could be somewhat wishful thinking. The hardworking/resilient/hyper succesful type, in most cases is that way because he neglects his social and dating life, and inherently won’t check off those boxes. The super fun/life of the party/hyper charismatic, very likely won’t have the discipline or energy to become hyper succesful. Yes, you can still express different parts of yourself at different times, but in my experience and what I’ve observed from the hyper succesful in my life in various different aspects, is that in order to achieve that level of success, it will inherently limit or restrict other aspects.

Could be just my perspective/experience, but I have found that while women at large will say that they prefer an “Emperor”, most of the time they will end up sleeping with or dating a more Primal type. This is coming from a lot of personal experience in my early 20s, when I would say almost the majority of girls I was with had boyfriends who fitted the Emperor mold, but they were extremely bored. Even in my current relationship, where my girlfriend says she prefers where I am grounded, focused, working on my goals, I notice there is significantly more attraction when I am in fun/party mode. I tend to fluctuate between those two extremes lol.

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Sorry for derailing guys.

I read the posts over again to know if what I’m saying is applicable or not, and I have something to say.

I get why you’re saying this, but then she gave her reply to the question, then went further to explain the reason for her reply. While I was talking about something I’ve been experiencing for some time now and how it relates to what she said.

You can choose to see it however you want to, but how can you call it bull, when it’s simply another person’s experience.

Bro, it’s funny hearing this from you. You have numerous results that a lot of people would consider wishful thinking (Simply because they can’t yet envision it for themselves, even though it’s absolutely possible).

Before 1954, people probably called the 4 minute mile wishful thinking.

Think about this, what do you envision as someone who has embodied the ability to unite paradoxes and express them, coupled with enough experiences to back up who he has become? Will it still be impossible?

It’s only wishful thinking until somebody does it.

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Maybe not the best phrase, apologies. I get what you’re saying, but I feel like the bar has already been raised so high for men in general, so I was being a little defensive lol.

Looking back on this; a close friend of mine who is a female was able to find her version of someone who encompasses it all for her, super wealthy, fun, adventurous, fit, etc, so it is out there.

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Totally hear you. But just to be clear, what you’re calling “mental gymnastics” is actually emotional precision. Not every woman is picking an archetype like ordering off a menu.

Some of us have done the work, and are still doing the work. Hence why we’re here.
And because of that, how we relate to men has depth.

It’s not about “flexibility.”
It’s about energetic fluency.
Not every man knows how to hold that, and that’s okay.

But dismissing the conversation as “yapping” or “mental masturbation” doesn’t make you clearer. It just makes it obvious the level this is happening on isn’t one you’re used to playing in.

And again, that’s fine.

But let’s not confuse discomfort with irrelevance.

I’m not explaining this to be understood. I’m explaining it to remind you there’s more going on here than you’re willing to see.

And no, this isn’t defense.
It’s discernment.
A response, not a reaction.

Because the feminine in her power doesn’t prove.
She clarifies.

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Most people misunderstand what Khan actually is.

They see dominance, sexuality, conquest…
And assume it’s about being louder, stronger, more alpha.

But that’s just the surface.
Khan isn’t a performance.
It’s a purification.

It doesn’t add power.
It strips away everything that isn’t real.
Every mask. Every illusion. Every softness disguised as “balance.”

Until only one thing remains:
Presence that cannot be shaken.

This isn’t the kind of stillness that comes from meditation.
It’s the kind that’s forged through fire.

Before calm, there’s chaos.
Before the centered masculine, there’s war.

Most men never make it through.
They want the gravity without the guts.
The presence without the pain.

But Khan, real Khan, is forged. Not chosen.

He’s not magnetic because he dominates.
He’s magnetic because he’s walked through hell, stripped himself to the core…
And what’s left is undeniable.

The eye of the storm.
Not because it’s calm.
But because it’s earned.

That’s not just power.
That’s who the world bends around.

That’s Khan.

P.S. Some men wear archetypes. Others become them.

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I felt the way you showed up, both times.
First, with insight. Then, with integrity.

You didn’t need to say anything.
And you definitely didn’t need to step back in.

But you did.
Not to defend me
But to hold space for the kind of depth most don’t even try to meet.

That doesn’t just speak. It signals.
And I see it.

So thank you.
For reading again.
For naming what you saw.
And for letting your words carry weight.

That stayed with me.

And I respect the way you chose to show up.

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