A little bit about me: I have cerebral palsy. I’ve always been embarrassed of my shaking and thinking people are going to think less of me because of it. So because of that I have held myself back from many opportunities. There’s two memories that always sticks out to me. My handwriting is like a 1st graders. In 6th grade, we were taking a spelling test and my crush got my test to grade. I’m thinking “She’s about to see how awesome of a speller I am” and she ended up switching my paper with somebody else’s. I attributed that as I’m not good, worthy enough. The 2nd memory, I’m in 10th grade, taking a math quiz. We pass the quizzes around to get graded and i hear the table behind me talking about my handwriting. Thoughts of sadness, anger, embarrassment and wanting to disappear pop up.
Today, my family went to go visit my grandma to keep her company. Looking back on this day, I realized i wasn’t focused on my shaking as much. There’s been only one other day where i didn’t focus on myself, prom. I’ve been writing this as my second loop plays.