It’s Wealth related issue interwoven with self doubt, when I failed to provide for my family or solve their problems, I felt ashamed and I felt like a failure. I really wanna give my family a good life. I concluded that it’s because I didn’t have what it took, be it qualifications or talents, and the lack was carved in stone. Then I became afraid to go for opportunities as I “knew” I wasn’t gonna get it, and I would never make it.
HOM Q2 was probably too huge to work with just 20 loops, hence nothing from it. As said, Regen Q2 didn’t do much except recon hell. RICH ZP again didn’t manifest, not just externally, but internally so far it didn’t inspire me new ways of earning (though weirdly I feel like it is working superstitiously). Emperor ZP works but the things it manifests are not related to Wealth (my body got stronger and fitter, got attentions from girls).
Regen increased these thoughts for sure. Emperor might do so since I read that one could get extra self critical with it but I am not sure.
I thought about Chosen a few times, in theory I felt that it fitted me. But always concluded that since it’s not Wealth related, (and I don’t have a team to lead) getting it wasn’t a correct way to spend the money. Maybe I ought to take a leap of faith?