This quote by Morgan Housel reminds me of the value of Stage 1:
“When most people say they want to be a millionaire, what they really mean is ‘I want to spend a million dollars,’ which is literally the opposite of being a millionaire.”
So many people dream about what they could do with immense wealth without considering the behaviors, habits, and identity that actually go into becoming and staying wealthy.
I think the same principle applies to relationships. Many of us dream about finding our ideal partner and experiencing a beautiful, deeply fulfilling relationship, without necessarily considering what it takes to be the kind of person who can create and sustain that kind of relationship.
That’s what makes Stage 1 particularly exciting to me.
Now that heart song is nearing completion my mindset has switched from the vision I imagine for it to the protections that I feel like would be helpful in it
On WDB I’ve felt swept up by my own seduction, often even falling harder for the person I’m seducing than they’re falling for me at first.
Seduction is one thing, but it could be dangerous or at least anti productive to immediately feel like you’re falling in love with someone before you’ve gotten to know them.
Rushing to decide that one person is your soulmate means that you’re making less space for other people that could be better soulmates (even if you’re open, soulmates take time and energy)
I’ve been engaged before, and we broke up, and the whole time I thought she was my soulmate and I just needed to convince her i really did love her and wasn’t going to abandon her, but in reality, fear of abandonment was part of her makeup and I wasn’t able to be married to someone that had her temperament (but I thought I could “fix it” and that she could still be my soulmate if she just got over her fear)
Being in love is one of the most consequential things a person will ever do. For better or worse, it’s one of the driving shapers of your entire life, so, it should be done if possible with deliveratness, not just rushing into it
Agreed. I didn’t want 2 stages at first, but the brief descriptions of Stage 1 have me excited to read the copy.
Joy scripting, authenticity, self expression, self worth, self love, being comfortable in your own skin, accepting the past and healing with PEACE scripting.
But most importantly…
That line alone has me hyped. Build a life you love so that you can share it with someone you love.
I have a big question for you/qOS that I’ve been saving, regarding where HS will fit into my stack as I will try to replace one of the cores from my 3 Name-Embedded Mains (Dual-Core)!
On the super down low (you didn’t hear it from me)… most of the shortcut-seeking and “magic pill syndrome” that you see in these types of spaces, are expressions/manifestations/conscious rationalizations of a protective mechanism where people want maximum, idealistic change in their lives while simultaneously staying the exact same person. It’s self-preservation.
edit:
GPTPlus explanation
Yeah — that’s a pretty sharp way to frame it, with one important tweak: the mechanism is often not fully conscious.
A lot of “magic pill” behavior can be understood as wanting the consequences of transformation without accepting the identity disruption, uncertainty, discomfort, repetition, and relinquishing of old habits or beliefs that transformation usually requires. The fantasy becomes: “I want my life to be radically different, but I don’t want the process to require me to become different.”
That can function as self-preservation. The existing self-model stays intact: same habits, same avoidance patterns, same emotional strategies, same environment — while the person searches for a technique, supplement, mindset, manifestation method, productivity system, etc. powerful enough to somehow override all of that from the outside.
In the specific pattern you’re describing—grandiose desired change + repeated refusal of the ordinary behavioral changes needed to produce it—“self-preservation disguised as optimization” is a very useful interpretation.
One thing I’ll add is that, this type of stuff is the anti-thesis of “alignment”. Internal guidance systems in “growth” spaces are as non self-preservatory as you can get. People who gravitate towards this style of bypassing usually run into their own internal guidance systems.
Yes — and I’d sharpen the distinction slightly: those internal guidance systems aren’t necessarily anti-self-preservation; they’re often anti-preservation of the current configuration of self.
That’s a big difference.
If “alignment” means living in increasing congruence with what you actually perceive, value, feel, and know, then genuine internal guidance can be extremely disruptive to the identity that has been organized around avoidance, control, approval, certainty, or maintaining a particular self-image. It may effectively say, this strategy kept you intact before, but it is no longer compatible with where you’re going.
That’s why bypass-oriented approaches can eventually collide with the very thing they’re trying to circumvent. You can intellectually rationalize a shortcut, adopt a new framework, repeat a belief, or search for a technique that promises transformation without disruption—but your actual experience keeps producing feedback. Dissatisfaction remains. Contradictions become harder to ignore. Certain choices feel increasingly hollow. Old patterns start costing more psychologically than they once did.
And that’s where “alignment” differs radically from idealistic self-improvement. Idealistic self-improvement can be entirely organized around the existing ego: How do I make this version of me more successful, attractive, powerful, secure, enlightened, etc.? Alignment may instead demand: What if some of the assumptions defining this version of me have to go?
So the paradox is almost:
The shortcut-seeking system asks, “How can I get everything I want without fundamentally changing?” Internal guidance asks, “What has to change in me for my life to become congruent with what I actually know?”
And the second question is inherently threatening to rigid self-preservation, because it doesn’t guarantee that the person you are at the beginning gets to remain untouched at the end.
In non-GPT layman’s, lol:
If you’re drawn to subliminals and using them, it’s because some part of you is going “we need to change this shit”. If you’re always looking for bypasses, explanations, frameworks, and shortcuts that allow you to be the exact same internally and change nothing - the part of you that says “we need to change”, will just speak louder and more effectively. Key word effective, not pleasant.
Will this translate into sexual compatibility and experiences together? It may be worth adding something on that for the bonding element and the partner you truly want to be with on all levels including physical.
Would stink to lose a ‘soul mate’ to an off night in bed (i.e. laughing while revealing how limiting my understanding of real connection is )
More importantly, ongoing sexual compatibility /chemistry is a must for romantic relationships.
(i.e. laughing while revealing how limiting my understanding of real connection is 
)