You don’t need ego death - and that is a weird request coming from someone who claims to find spirituality incongruent with many of his desires. You should decide for yourself what your views and beliefs are first and foremost, as it seems like you are constantly changing your views on these. Note, questioning beliefs is not a bad thing - but it is if you have absolutely no ground to base any exploration on.
Talking generally now…
Ego death is often glamorized in modern new age and new age adjacent spiritual circles - but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, just like the so sought after (by the same circle) Kundalini is. The false one will lead you to a long, drawn out and fruitless path at best, and intense delusion at worst.
The real deal, if you somehow achieve it prematurely (unlikely, as it requires dedicated practice over many years with a teacher - unless you somehow stumbled upon legitimate techniques without a teacher and are YOLO-ing it), will seriously burn you if not outright drive you mad.
These concepts sound cool when you read about them.
Ego death? Awesome, I (supposedly - personally I’ve seen a number of legitimate traditions disregard the concept of ego death, and I’m inclined to agree) don’t need to desire anything, I’m at constant peace, at unity with everything around me and all my spiritual abilities skyrocket! Congratulations, you did it wrong and you’re messed up for the next couple of decades, if not the whole life.
Kundalini? Awesome, intense spiritual bliss, endless energy, spiritual abilities and a super-attracting aura. Won’t be able to keep the ladies off! Congratulations, you did it wrong and you’re burned if not insane for the next couple of decades, if not the whole life (if you even live that long now).
Modern people scoff at the individuals who spend decades of their lives practicing these disciplines to achieve these, thinking they can do it better. It’s not happening. We’ve seen plenty of supposed ego death masters and Kudaliniers, both in our personal lives and in the people that love to fill our support queue with their “knowledge” on these topics.
Don’t go down that path. Stay grounded, pursue a legitimate spiritual path if you feel the pull, find a legit teacher regardless of your chosen tradition. You’re not a god - you need a teacher to guide you. Don’t kitchensink subliminals or spirituality (modern spirituality like new age is basically kitchensinking).
Best part is, you don’t need either of these to achieve your goals in life. Wealth, romance, relationships, skill improvement, health - all can be achieved without ever touching upon any of these spiritual concepts. But for some reason people set a goal for themselves (such as more women in their life) and then decide the only way to achieve it is an extremely intense process that takes dedicated practitioners years if not more than a decade to achieve.
Why?
I suspect it’s a mechanism to escape taking action - if you’re “raising your Kundalinis”, then you can put off talking to new women until you raise it, and can instead blame whoever is teaching you the Kundalinis (or, as luck often has it, providers of subliminals - sadly, often times subliminal creators are also very lacking).
Interestingly enough, this happens with 99% of pirates as well. They end up stuck “collecting” titles. This is also the case with a lot of modern modalities, both similar to subliminals and not. Then the pride of having collected so much (and often times paid crazy sums if not pirating) stops them from ever using what they have, as they believe themselves above the tools or using them without actual respect for the tools (due to their supposed experience of having so many to choose from - which is a simple misattribution mistake; collecting is not the same as using, hence no experience).
So, conclusion?
Take action with what you have available to you at the moment alongside your subliminal usage. Don’t overload, take your time, be patient and dedicated.
It’s not complicated. It can be tough, but it’s very simple. Look in front of you at your goal, and just put one foot after another. Don’t worry when you’ll get there, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Eventually, you’re there and going to even greater heights.
Finally, a quote that I quite like personally, and describes this process:
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
