Low sex drive as a man, negatively affecting LTR

Questions and Comments
#1

Hey all,

I have a personal issue that I feel like I would like to bring to this community. Any advice that you have, whether it’s about what subliminals to listen to or what actions to take with my partner would all be appreciated.

Context: My partner and I are under 30 years old, and I’m 2 years older than her. We have been together for a year and a half, living together for 8 months. Moving in together coincided with a timing that I went on a bipolar medication called lamictal that totally stunted my sex drive. I’ve been off that medication now but my sex drive hasn’t returned all that much. it’s definitely better, but we have a DRAMATIC difference in our sex lives before living together (aka pre-meds) and after living together (aka post-meds). To make it all even more complicated, I dealt with a lot of sexual shame and trauma from ages 13-23 around extreme premature ejaculation. I constantly felt not good enough, I felt like I was going to die alone, I had extreme shame of myself sexually, and I held the fact that I was a quick cummer as a secret for the entire ten years. Point of the story is there’s a lot of emotional trauma in there. It makes it difficult for me to allow my girlfriend to initiate on me. I tense up when she does because it makes me think I’m in “performance mode.”

That wasn’t ever a problem when we started dating because I was always initiating with her, but in recent months, i’ve stopped initiating almost completely… and she isn’t able to initiate because I pretty much clam up at the thought of having sex without it being totally my idea.

I brought up those three confounding factors because I feel like they all play a role. The premature ejaculation fear and trauma, the changed dynamic of moving in together, and the effects of being on a sex-drive decreasing medication, even if that only was for a 5 month period of time (almost 6 months ago now).

If you were me, what would you do? What subs would you listen to to increase sex drive? It is REALLY important to me to stay faithful and monogamous, so I’m concerned that a lot of the subs out there would make me have more sex drive but want to spread it out to everybody.

Heartsong is definitely a good one, but it’s so vague, and I feel like if my girlfriend listens to it and I keep on listening to my custom, that might even be good enough. I’m thinking about more sexually focused subliminals like primal… but I think that might be specifically for men looking to pick up women… I don’t know how that would work in a relationship that I’m not trying to make open/polyamorous, but it could be an interesting addition to my AM/HOM custom cores.

Would the ideal play here be to get a copy of sex mastery? It seems like the simplest subliminals to increase my comfort with spontaneous sex would either be Diamond or SMX.

Perhaps long term, I need to focus on subs like Regeneration to deal with this deeper trauma around the high-school-aged premature ejaculation.

This was helpful to think out loud with. Feedback appreciated as well, and as far are subs are concerned, I’d definitely appreciate clarification around subs like primal, smx, and diamond for increasing comfort with sex, initiation, and relationship quality.

The dying question on my mind is might Primal actually be the answer… even more alpha scripting to help me with social status for business and sales, but also another side to it, working on my sexual comfort and relationship?

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The "Billions Mindset" Wealth Journal (Previously Ascended Mogul)
#2

practice oral sex and pleasing her in other ways. try to find ways to do it that are fun for you both. Make friends with the clitoris. It has many things to tell you.

exercise - revs up your metabolism (and catabolize those medications out of your system), evens out mood, increases testosterone. Different types of exercise are ideal for each of those effects, you can check that out by yourself.

drink a lot of water

have fun with her. playing, doing enjoyable things, so that the sex doesn’t have so much pressure on it to be responsible for all of your pleasure together.

and same for yourself. spend time doing things you enjoy and that feel meaningful, to take some of the pressure off of you to FIX, FIX, FIX all of the issues in the next 10 minutes.

remember this: you get to be alive right now. If you’re very lucky, it’ll be 90+ years that you get to run around on this planet doing your thing. Every moment here is precious. And you’ve got this cool-ass girl who you like. She likes you too. Fuck sex (pun intended). You’ve got a good thing. Appreciate it. There’s some shit you can’t do, and there’s also a lot of shit that you can do.

And then, of course, experiment with subliminals to see where you can make great shifts in the situation.

Good luck, man!

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#3
  1. Working out worked great for me. Weight lifting. Nothing fancy, but 1 hour 3 times a week. I noticed that I get way way way hornier naturally with this, and way way way stronger in bed.
  1. This product.

Good luck mate!

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#4

One of the fastest way to clean your body from these drugs ( doesn’t deserve to be called medication in my opinion) and negativ after effects would be a “kambo” session.
If you find a Kambo practicioner in your area then your problem is solved very fast.

  1. You can make your own tincture that blast away these side effects
    But it’s time consuming.

For example

Put 100 Gramm Rhodiola rosea in 5 dl minimum 3x destilled vodka, the more destilled the better.
Put all in a Glas jar and shake it 1-2 times a day for minimum 1 month. Put it in a dark place and don’t open the Glas jar.

Rhodiola kills a middle weight Depression :wink:

But be careful, that’s my receipt, it’s super super potent.

10 drops maximum at morning

Do the Same with Ginseng

Now a fact that most people don’t know is: Ginseng is capable of transform Stress into usable Energy if the concentration is high enough

So your other problem you can fix with the Ginseng tincture
I had a Frend that was so stresst about everything, he exploded about the little things so fast that I gave him a Ginseng tincture I made.
One day he comes over and smiles at me tell me: yesterday I took you tincture and was driving my car. Some guy in another car crashed my car from behind so hard that my car has colateral damage.
It didn’t stress me at all, quiet the opposite is true I am completely relaxed

So this is powerfull

Rhodiola for killing the depression and power your root up and give you your sex drive back
And
Ginseng for stress elimination, relaxing and sexual energy.

If you do this let me WARN YOU

NEVER MIX THEM TOGETHER

Its too powerful and you will hate me if you try it

You can’t handle 2 opposite energys at the same time. It will fuck you up for 8 hours.

Good luck Bro

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#5

How did you cure Premature Ejaculation the first time?

#6

Well you said yourself you have traumas, especially about sex.

Any any premature ejaculation or even ED is 100% a mental issue.

So you have your answer yourself:
Healing.

You need to heal that trauma, and build confidence and self-belief along side that.

So I’d say an Ascension/Healing combination.
Dragon Reborn should also fix that.
Sex Mastery works as well, of course.

Anything that focuses on healing that trauma.

For me it was Khan. Especially Stage 1.

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#7

These people have suggested quite a few great solutions. I will say that a decent chunk of SC’s selections would increase Sex Drive. Khan, DIAMOND, Libertine and SMX come to mind.

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#8

honestly i will get shit on for posting this but loop this overnight on the floor next to your bed. you can download it. after 5 days of this use the grounding video of the same channel.

this helped me with a complete loss of libido due to medications. but be carreful once your root is fully opened you will want to fuck everyone and everything.
the sex hits different when your root is emitting heat. it feels godly.
in my personal experience i started wanting to have sex with “ugly” women a lot more. one woman came within 30 seconds and said my dick is so powerful and she said it’s not big she had bigger ones before but it felt powerful to her.also you will get vivid dreams every night with precise dream recall.
your visualization ability will skyrocket.

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#9

@ferdinandreitet if it helps, then it helps! Though I would try to look for an SC solution first

#10

I would give Regeneration + Primal a try for about a month, then re-evaluate.
Especially since those subliminals are your natural inclinations as solutions to your issue.
Hint: That’s not random.

  1. You need some sort of healing sub because you’re speaking of emotional traumas related to sex. (Regeneration)

  2. Primal is supposed to guide you on letting go of all inner beliefs that are useless in your dating and sex life. I’m not sure if Sex Mastery X or Diamond may be better for your situation but Primal seems good and it also has Sex Mastery in it (I think).

You can consciously guide these subliminals by setting a goal and intention of your use with them.

Also, I respect you for sharing such a personal thing, that’s not easy to do.

You’re on the right track

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#11

A couple of people have already bought up some, ahem, “esoteric” stuff without considering if you are, ahem, “that way” inclined.

However, I would like to point out that you haven’t actually stated what your problem is. You have only said you are having less sex, you haven’t actually said you are unhappy with having less sex or that you want more sex.

So, do you actually want more sex?

If so, why?

Are you afraid your partner will leave you if you can’t meet her sexual needs.

Why can’t she change to meet yours?

Why can’t you get a better looking partner, who is more faithful and with a more pleasing countenance. (And perhaps a lower sex drive).

Or perhaps your partner is ugly in that you don’t find her sexually attractive or perhaps it’s the ‘however hot she is somebody somewhere is already tired of her shit’ problem?

Do you always want to be the initiator or do you actually want her to take the lead?

Someone else has already pointed out you can engage with her in a sexual way without you even getting it up so how about tying her up, shoving a ball gag in her gob, blindfolding her, slapping her arse and playing with her clit to the point of orgasm and you could do all this without ever getting naked yourself.

Is it important to you to remain monogamous?

What do you want to happen?

You need to clarify that before you get any sensible feedback.

Was it Aristotle who said that one of the benefits of age was being able to think about philosophy without being sidetracked by the pleasures of the flesh. Is sex really so important to you? Or perhaps every cloud has a silver lining.

1 Like
#12

This is hardly a glowing endorsement of your 'idea", is it.

#13

From my experience, I must strongly disagree here. You are making it too simple by saying it is 100% mental for everyone.

Mental traumas and fears do have a huge effect but most often they come secondary and are not the primary cause. For example, ED can be very often caused by a lack of nutrients after switching for example to a vegan diet and not doing it right.

If you now go out to have sex with this beautiful partner and experience ED, this will be a traumatic event for you and now the mental fears kick in. The next time you will get nervous and scared, which makes ED even worse and the negative spiral starts.

This is just one scenario that can happen, sometimes it can be caused by a sole mental issue but the point is that it is different for everyone.

For PE, I sadly have not figured out the exact biological reason for it yet (currently investigating parasite infection and inflammation) though a diet rich in carbohydrates seem to make it worse. Most often it is just caused by negative masturbation habits from childhood on. As most kids grow up shaming their sexuality, trying to masturbate as quickly as possible to not get caught and therefore ingrain this unconscious pattern. On top of that come the traumas when experience PE the first time in front of your lover which leads again to the negative spiral of shame, nervousness, fear that makes PE worse.

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#14

Yes, you’re right. 100% is too easy. I would still say it is a very high number.

Because, for most, even if they fix their diet etc, ED still persists because of - what you mentioned - the trauma once experienced it.

So what I meant to say, was, even if you get the physical in order, the biggest mountain to climb is still the mental trauma associated with it.

PE, however, I would still say is fully a mental “issue.” It always happens when you breathe too fast and clench the muscles at and around your perineum. This creates pressure which makes it fly too soon.

The reason is mental though. Performance pressure due to porn where they all last for ages (which is another trauma), social stigmas (“quickshooter”), etc.
So you’re too much in your head (the big one), not immersed in the situation. The Sex God Method book has a lengthy topic about this which explains this very well.

I know there are things like “dick sensitivity” and “the death grip” but I don’t really believe in that due to my own experiences. Khan solved the quick shooting pretty fast for me…

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#15

What if I tell you that most mental issue can also be prevented by a change in diet or are caused by a biological reason? :open_mouth:

Depression → lack of bacteria / microbiome problems

Fear → fat deficiency

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#16

Depends what you mean by “cured”?

Improved, ok yes. Totally irradicated…

And also which mental issues.

#17

Your intuition is correct.

Stack up Primal & Sex Mastery X2 Q right away; and get Diamond for the near future.

Primal & SMX both contain Sexual Healing scripts, which should help a lot. :ok_hand:t2:

Primal makes you want to be sensual & sexual with every female human you see. When you are living with a willing & available partner, most of that desire will be naturally directed towards her. :wink:

SMX will help you with technique, on both sensual & sexual sides; making “lasting longer” irrelevant. :sunglasses:

If you are anyways sleeping together, do check out “Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow” to distinguish between Mating vs Bonding Sex. Intercourse & orgasms are not necessary for the love to thrive.

:+1:t2:

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#18

I am sorry but I would be very very wary of suggesting someone undertakes a kambo session.

#19

@blackadder Why?
Can you explain that please?

#20

Its not regulated and furthermore its not like you have to study 5 years at medical school to become a kambo practitioner. This means anyone who has the money to attend a workshop, can become one but it does not necessarily mean they have the expertise or knowledge to determine whether someone needs that treatment.

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