FUCK
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RegenZP does NOT disappoint,
My dad is sorta passive-aggressive with wanting me to call DAILY “to talk.”
On a recent phone call, he said “I sometimes wonder, son, if you even care about me. I wish you’d call more.”
The Guilt Trip is strong with this one.
I shoot for talking twice a week MAYBE.
I talked to him Saturday to wish happy new years. he called twice on sunday, thrice on Monday. I usually let it go to voicemail.
I was planning to call today…Tuesdays and Saturdays is as good a schedule as any.
So I’m sitting in the home office trying level 416 again (the post above) and psyching myself out to call him (I have to prepare myself since he’s negative about everything)
As I’m psyching myself out he sends a text “Call me so we can talk”
ugh.
I call him. we talk.
But the whole time of me psyching myself out, it ended up being the “mental conversations” I have on healing subs…I was telling him off about how I really don’t like talking on the phone often. Let alone as often as he would prefer.
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I’m reading back over the posts in this journal to see if I want to keep this journal up or start a fresh one. This quote jumped out back out me.
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I’m not sure if this is the same blonde I dreamed about in the recent High School dream.
ugh. Might have been a mistake re-reading my journal. Do NOT want to relive that time of my life. Just reading this brought back a bit of the feelings of stress from this. I’ll keep this up. It’s probably good for me. But it hurts like hell.
Once I read this, I may archive this journal and start a fresh one.
I have to assume this sudden urge to read back over my failings and successesis from RebirthZP and RegenZP yesterday. To think I was briefly considering running both of those in the same stack!
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I forgot all about this dream. I was close to “having something in my eye” from remembering it as I read. Wow. Regen, you have my attention now.
I remember posting this on Facebook around the same time. It’s a reference to the movie “American Beauty” when Ricky (Wes Bentley’s character) calls it the most beautiful thing in the world or something. It was a short movie of a bag being blown around in the wind.
Funny enough, when I posted this on FB, people thought I was making reference to some Katy Perry song.
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I just realized that I “coincidentally” am stacking RegenZP and Mind’s Eye ZP like I did with the Q/ME2 versions before. Full circle…
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Since I know you’re awake and reading my shit right now (lol)…This dream still bugs me. She basically just ghosted me IRL. And when I called her on it, acted like it’s no big deal.
NEXT!
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Post can’t be empty
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haha. forgot about this dream.
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BOOM!
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@RVconsultant or @DarkPhilosopher Can I get this journal closed out please? And append “2021” to the title? I want to send 2021 off by saying…
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Done and done.
Did you start your new journal with a clip from Matrix Resurrections? Slow start but not too bad around the end. Or maybe the middle.
Unlike the new Ghostbusters which was a pleasant surprise all-round.
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