A Northern Power (Not Nice)

Journals - Major Programs
#14

Second week

  • Working two jobs now, also starting to contribute financially to the family, despite them wanting me permanently out. I’d much prefer to keep that money for myself.

  • Feeling more inner strength, time off from work spent in a new city and come to the conclusion that I am not an evil human being. I have simply been heavily mind controlled to think that way. I’ve done nothing to warrant such rageful, hateful treatment from others.

  • I now don’t look upon others as better than me, especially women. I’ve automatically put others on a pedestal, even though they are just normal people. Men who look like they would have targeted me in the past are now moving out of my way, women either react with high sexual abandon (I make sexual jokes spontaneously) or cannot cope.

  • Sometimes I think: “I deserve better in life than this”.

  • Finally - I’ve ordered my first custom! It is especially made as an empath to protect me from toxic people and targeted attacks from others. It’ll be very interesting to run in the midst of a narcissistic family and a toxic workplace. Looking forward to seeing workplace bullies shit themselves with Fearsome, learning new essential skills with The Boundary and Limiting People Remover to take care of the trash. Custom is due next week, can’t wait.

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#15

These I think could be very helpful.

I realize you ordered it already, but what others did you consider for a better life that didn’t make the cut, and do you have a link to your custom items you did order?

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#16

@rvconsultant oddly enough, Manipulus, Divine Self Image and Ares didn’t make it, which was probably a mistake, but PCC and Emperor can cover the ground involved. As for the composition of the custom:

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Basically most of the modules with the key word “toxic” but with some elements of potential and growth.

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#17

And what you created might be all you need.

If not, you can always post, and we can help you with ideas for another one.

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#18

Whilst awaiting the custom to arrive, some more quick results:

  • Another tense day at work, face to face with an actual alpha. One big guy who carried such a menacing aura, came to speak to me because I called security on him. But he was calm enough to have a joke with us, even though, he seemed angry enough to trigger a full blown fight. I was nervous but calm and solid. My colleague however damn near shit himself…

That’s the kind of guy that perfectly models the Fearsome module.

  • My mindset towards people is: impress me.
    Still generous and protective over my soul tribe of misfits (as I’m one myself), but mostly take a wait and see attitude. Those who are disrespectful get zero from me.

  • No more leaning on people emotionally to prop up my self esteem, the independent spirit is emerging.

Roll on the custom.

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#19

“It’s time. It’s time. It’s Vader time (time, time, time…).”

No it’s time for the new custom, which has the title Northern Shield.

First impressions from a custom n00b.

  • I’ve finally understood the implications of tailoring your own personal journey with these truly revolutionary tools, far beyond the other subliminal makers, at a price that is fair and ensures you treat it with respect.

  • First play - my subconscious likes what it hears, because of the name embedding.

  • It’s too easy to play more than once! Self control needed.

  • Man, do I stand up straight when I listen, the feelings of inadequacy and weakness disappeared within minutes, shoulders broadened out, standing proud and tall, no fear.

  • As a newcomer, I usually submit to my work colleague as they have far more experience on the job. This time, I just thought, “fuck it” and did what I needed to now without looking for someone’s approval.

  • Early effects from Fearsome - a few people couldn’t look me in the eye. I also have a sense of “mess with me, and we will have problems”.

Being King of the North is off to a very good start.

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#20

Welcome to the custom club my friend

1 Like
#21

@davisnwc thanks my man!

Mood:

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#22

Fearsome – hat tip to @rvconsultant. Awesome.

I can see the exact same type of fear in my eyes that my father used to generate with his presence. Unfortunately he aimed most of his ire towards me.

  • On a packed bus full of commuters, during rush hour, absolutely no one wanted to sit next to me.

  • People now move out of the way, fake alphas just don’t bother with me anymore, but genuine people, women aren’t too scared of me.

  • In a major train station I’m walking one direction, another wanted to cut across my path but upon seeing me stopped - then waited for me to walk past him, then he carried on!

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#23

More results:

Moving away from toxic family seems inevitable, as my status is growing from the custom Emperor scripting (and boy do I stand up straight and confident!) My new self assuredness and unrepentant behaviour appears to be stressing out my sister – the same one that told me to fuck off and leave.

  • Fearsome – my mother tries to creep on me from behind, I gave her that look – she immediately backed off and said “why are you looking at me like that?” and tried to change the subject.

  • For the longest time I couldn’t stop attracting people wanting to scam and use me for the longest, as if I had a sign on my head saying “ABUSE ME PLEASE!”. And it isn’t just fake alphas, it’s women who bait and switch me into accepting less. Now I love being left the fuck alone.

  • At work a customer who was inebriated verbally threatened my colleague. I try to avoid conflict (because it usually meant me getting physically attacked in childhood) but my protective instinct kicked in. I looked him direct in the eyes and said only one sentence - “please leave the shop”, he left straight away!

  • Dude on electric scooter who would have hit me full on at speed saw me and hit the brakes, swerved around me slowly whilst saying sorry!

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#24
  • Today I’m cleaning in the shop, as required by my supervisor. It needs to be detailed and uses specific chemicals. Unfortunately it is a few feet away from my customers. One burly dude rudely asks me “do you have to [clean]?”. I look at him dead bolt in the eye "Yes, I do have to.

Later he came to the till for all his money, still angry at me, but he could not look me in the eyes!

Fearsome - use responsibly.

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#25

With the exception of the fake alpha makes part I relate to this all too well.

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#26

My custom is settling in after the initial first play excitement. I’m also easing into the job despite the unsavoury characters that try to scam us. Speaking of which the one person who is verbally and racially abusive no longer speaks to me in the same way as before – the insults, jabs and “banter” have completely stopped, replaced with a sort of fearful respect It’s hard to visualise an enemy person terrified of me but Fearsome does it extremely well, it’s made my life a lot easier.

I’m still being manipulated by family members in giving more of myself to them and I hate it. It needs to stop. Guilt tripped into being their servant is getting real old.

My sense of self isn’t yet defined. For example: what are my values? Am I living them authentically? The main block is I’m terrified that being my authentic real self will get me rejected/sacked/outcast by everyone currently around me.

A couple more modules are needed for anti manipulation, targeting shame and guilt and being broken down and rebuilt from the ground up. So I’m looking at ManipulusARES and I AM as additions to the custom update.
Emperor will take care of the rest in developing more masculinity independence and discipline.

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#27

I thought of “I AM” when you shared not knowing your values and fearing other’s rejection. It worked quickly in Kahn stage 1 when I used it in version 1, so I’m wondering how this will work in ZP. That’s one module that could really make some major long-term changes.

Kudos to your growth!

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#28

Thanks, and acting on the next steps out of my own emotional prison cell is that of a strong value system. I don’t know what mine truly are apart from the one forcibly installed by family: “you are evil, you are the sick one, you’re the problem.”

I AM it is then! If you recommend it then it’s confirmed. Good review!

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#29

Summoning @RVconsultant, any module suggestions you see from the last few journal entries?

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#30

@Michel, I was just thinking I Am would be the absolute best module for you.

I have it in my Custom and it’s so good. I feel it’s the best healing modality ever. Puts you firmly in the present, you literally forget about the past and who you were, your negativity, traumas, all that gets wooped. It’s not gone though it’s temporarily disabled the moment this module gets into action and as the weeks pass all that stuff will get broken down and disappear as it was never their… you will also get brighter and more clarity as all that darkness is released.

The fun part about this module is it gives me no reconciliatio AT ALL. It’s not like Rebirth were you start to think about all the negative stuff… it’s just gone.

And Rebirth is a natural process. You perception about things shift naturally once you are in a different position in life.

And I Am will allow you to become who you truly are removing all the baggage and things you are not. I’m intending to run this basically till forever because it also has a big Spiritual component were you just live in the here and now… no more losing yourself in the past and future. Such a magnificent module.

I think Divine Self-Image would do you lots of good too…

It will help will all these negative self-thoughts you are having. And I Am will just destroy them even more. That module works so well in tandem with any Custom it feels to me like it helps with just forgetting who you were or rather knowing thy TRUE self while installing new behaviour congruent with the modules you have in your Custom.

Good luck! Aye

4 Likes
#31

Wooped!
Interesting review as that’s exactly what I’m looking for. My beliefs about myself are corrupted so the goal is a melting away of the past and complete reformation in the present.

Sounds perfect for getting rid of all that heavy brainwashing.

It seems like both I Am and Divine Self Image do lean towards spirituality, which is good because the negative messages from the past do sound like they come from “above”. They need to be replaced from above too.

Congruence is also the goal - to just be - fully in the self and in the body, no more pandering and letting others define/scorn me, and letting the chips fall where they may.
@Houdini thanks for the glowing review!

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#32

From reading your journal it appears to me you have been under some difficult circumstance… I’m gonna just tell you everyone has such a beautiful spark of life hidden deep within their hearts…

You just have to find it and be who you are meant to be.

I Am and Divine Self-Image are the way… you will start loving yourself so much!

You can do this! :sparkles:

I think it would help if you make some good friends and heal the wounds between you and your family instead of trying to prove something to them. Give them love and love shall return.

Transcendental connection, remembrance and the love modules… but that’s up to you :slight_smile:

To clarify on “I Am” all that you are not will gradually fade out. More and more each week until you come to a place were you just are… and from there you can start moving your life in a chosen directions not being held back just from the I Am.

I assured you will be a new person.

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#33

I would like to help.

How about a summary to make sure I understand?

What do you want in the next 90 days?

What modules are you considering right now?