I like how organized your journal is. I was able to read through it with ease and understand it all even f skipping. Very appreciated! Looking forward to more 
you rock!
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General Healing “Recon” (day 4/5 of washout)
TLDR:
- watched anime till 3am last night
debauchery stacking like King Henry The Fifth
- while eating a McFlurry
- While watching porn
- While living in a messy pig-sty (have been at my gf’s for 8 days, first day at my house in a while)
- While ignoring my friend calling me
- Woke up at 10am, went on the forum till 11am, watched porn again in the morning
- and none of this was recon
Recon is a tricky word. We can often use it as a form of self attack.
I WASNT PERFECT TODAY OMG RECON
Philosophy on recon and when recon isn't actually recon... sometimes, recon is just you doing things you normally do anyways. Don't be so perfect that you expect perfection from yourself.
But sometimes, at least for my own healing journey, I need to recognize and give self-love to the fact that because I’m “healing” then… by definition… I’m not yet “healed.”
So how can I beat myself up over something that I already knew in the first place?
I knew that I needed some healing, and needed some emotional crutches like anime, that’s why I engaged in the healing journey in the first place.
And that was an act of self-love. I saw I needed healing, I offered it to myself, I accepted it. That’s self-love in response to realizing I’m not perfect.
Last night was another realization that I’m not perfect. I needed some healing. I wasn’t transmuting properly, so, I dealt with my emotions in other ways. How much of an asshole do I need to be to get mad at myself for that?
But here’s the thing… the “healed” version of myself would look at that with self-love, and the “broken” part of myself would get angry at myself right? And I’m on a healing journey.
SO OBVIOUSLY IT’S OKAY THAT I DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
That bender was good, because here’s what happened when I woke up
I felt ready to take on life again. I was “over it” in the most positive sense possible.
I’m ready to talk to my old work again and try and resolve this issue. I’m ready to take on new offers. I’m ready to work hard on ALL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE NOT JUST THIS TINY LITTLE NARROW DOMAIN THAT KEPT ME SO BLIND AND IGNORANT TO THE LARGER PICTURE.
Good things
- It was sunny, whereas the day before, the lightning and thunder literally shook the walls (it’s symbolic of a new day)
- I thought to myself “okay, I’ve had my fun, I’m ready to start embarking in work and responsibility again.”
- I became ready to call friends that have been reaching out for support
- I feel inspired by all the reflecting I’ve been doing… I’ve reflected more in this one week that I have in the last 6 months! And I’m ready to “take action” on all of those things, not just brute-forcing my day to spend all-day every-day working just to gain an additional 10% to my income…
- I’m grateful that this whole experience showed me the areas of my life that were weakest.
- I’m grateful that this whole experience showed me how much I’ve been using work as a crutch.
- I’m grateful I have subliminals and friends and support and a conscious mindset.
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Personal Feedback I Got From A Trusted Friend
TLDR;
Listen more than you talk
- This is something that PCC helped me with a lot, and I stopped PCC, and started talking more.
Be more vulnerable
- This is tough feedback for me, but I’m trying to let it in.
My first impression of you was overconfident.
- Well, that’s this person’s problem, but also my problem since I get told that frequently, so I’m looking at PCC, Approachability Aura, Light Of Humility, and others. Already added light of humility in my previous custom, and considered approachability aura… I was told approachability aura plus HOM was overkill, but then when I told saint I kind of have resting bitch face or something, he said ok then maybe approachability aura isn’t overkill.
Expanded Version
THAT ^ in more detail.
Another week, another men’s group.
A man left the group last night, so we had a goodbye ceremony.
He gave me some sage words as a parting gift. Very relevant to Khan.
But also relevant to PCC & HOM
I ran PCC/HOM for 4 weeks, which gave him his first impression of me. And recently, I added on Khan.
Maybe the Khan result most important to all this is total stoicism and appreciation for all the advice and words. I was grateful for everything negative he said about me, and took it as data, without taking it personally. And for the positive, I really let it into my heart.
#1) His First Impression Of Me
This was not on Khan, but, has been a CONSISTENT piece of feedback I’ve gotten ever since starting subliminals and succeeding in life.
He said: The first time I met you I was like “hmmm what’s this guy about, I can’t peg him down, he’s so confident, what’s he hiding underneath that?”
Many many people have told me they find my confidence offputting and like it can’t be real.
It is real, so, part of them just has to deal with that lol.
But I also have to adjust to that and create new ways of being to better use my confidence responsibly.
That’s why approachability aura is interesting to me - I leave bad first impressions on people.
#2) His constructive criticism: Listen More Than You Talk, it’ll make you a better friend
I was really conscious about this one for the first few weeks. I know I talk more than I listen so I tried holding back. This was REALLY going well on PCC. But I think I stopped listening to PCC and then the listen/talk ratio started to go back to talk-heavy.
#1 and #2 are feedback I get CONSISTENTLY but I was really grateful to hear it from someone I really respect and trust, and from someone who thinks very highly of me and is only giving improvements, not criticism.
#3) Be More Vulnerable, let people into your heart more
This is a tough one for me…
Am I not being vulnerable enough? Or do I just not get value out of sharing my problems with others?
I have a lot of introspection to do on this. I’ve gotten this feedback many times as well. But this one normally frustrates me.
In this case, I’m glad it’s THIS person that told me this. Because I can view it with 100% openmindedness, whereas from someone else, I would judge them and deflect the feedback.
Other people have told me the same thing and I just tell them they’re wrong, but then I realize I don’t really have self-awareness on how I’m feeling IN THE MOMENT… I always need to reflect later in the day to find out how I was feeling at the time of feeling it, that’s part of why I journal on the forum so much.
But even the people who I’ve told them were wrong, but then we persisted, had profound shifts for me.
And maybe this is why LBFH hits me like a ton of f’in bricks, but DR/Khan ST1 is light by comparison.
#4: My viewpoints and what I talk about are insanely interesting
This person loved that no matter what someone shares, I have some real value to add… not talking out my ass value, but real ways to shift that person and help them, or even just in casual conversation, I have threads in so many topics I can talk about almost anything.
We even chatted more after, and he expanded on this more and said he wanted to pick my brain more to hear what else I’ve got going on there.
So by no means was any of this negative, it was just part of the exercise, and I’m really glad for it.
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I do write it with skimming in mind exactly. It was originally meant for other people, but I’m getting an insane amount of value from being able to “skim” my old posts as well.
Sometimes I realize, “this needs to be shorter” which forces me to impart more meaning with less words, which means I have to go even deeper into introspection, which means I gain even greater self-awareness.
It’s just an old copywriting trick though… write the sales letter assuming that they’ll only read 20% of the words.
I find that extremely helpful.
That’s why I use the extra-large font feature so much as well - I’m hoping that anyone who skims this, myself included, can get all the salient points.
I’m really annoyed by having to read everyone’s journals and trying to differentiate between
- dreams, which I don’t care about at all, except general gratitude that people feel they’re transformational.
- Rants and recon, which are important to journal about, but, don’t help me understand a subliminal
- Actual results, which are baked in between all the other stuff
- Subliminal plans generally, which are important but unrelated to the actual results of the subs themselves
- Non-sub-related stories… “everything is related” to a certain extent, but still…
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Ending my washout tonight.
I’m actually not sure if technically speaking, this’ll make the washout a 4 day washout or a 5 day washout.
But if my math isn’t totally awful, I can technically say it’s been a 5 day washout.
Literally counting on my fingers and toes like a 3rd grader to figure out if my washout has been 4 days or 5. IMO it's 5.
I always listen to subliminals at night, so, my washout started Friday Aug 25th at 8pm, let’s say.
25th 8pm to 26th 8pm, end of day 1
26th to 27th, end of day 2
27th to 28th, end of day 3
28th to 29th, end of day 4,
29th to 30th @ 8pm, end of day 5
So today, so long as I listen tonight and not this morning, will officially be 120 hours AKA 5 days without subliminals
Which makes sense because I woke up today feeling 100% “processed and ready.”
In actuality, I’ve had 4 rest days… 26, 27, 28, 29, and if i were to listen today, that would not be a 5th rest day.
But I like my 120hrs math better.
Back to Khan tonight, ST1 + ST2 simultaneously
Genesis will be reincorporated as soon as I get a sense of how Khan ST1+ST2 mesh together.
If it’s easy, I’ll run ST1/ST2 for 2 weeks, then add loops of genesis in near the end of the cycle.
If it’s hard, I’ll run ST1 & ST2 without genesis for the full cycle.
Next cycle I can replace Khan ST1 with either Genesis or Sanguine Elixir depending on how I feel.
They both will help me better express the objectives of Khan ST2. Genesis will lightly dissolve any blockages I have, and I’ll heal them through action. Sanguine: Elixir will directly heal any blockages I have about being the Khan.
But Genesis has added benefits of social life, fun, purpose, auras, confidence, emotional transmutation, even reworked productivity scripting taken directly from Khan.
TO BE HONEST NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT HOLY FUDGE WE HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR A NON-SEXUAL KHAN, I THINK GENESIS IS THAT THING
EDIT:
Actually I’m going out with my girlfriend’s team/company tonight so Khan is a bad idea. I don’t wanna accidentally go gorilla mode and dominate her CEO.
I’ll do a 3 min loop of Genesis to better enjoy socializing with them, and an added benefit of “dissolving” stuff that Khan 1/2 can further heal my next listening day
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What emotions and mindframes do you typically hold when in social environments?
Based off human interaction:
Typically the following causes abrasive reactions:
- anger
- competitiveness and desire to dominate
- passion in any way or fighting to prove something
- hate, judgment, suspiciousness, jealousy, overly secretive and quiet
- Self centredness or selfishness
- Showboating or showing off in any way.
- Overly seriousness or intensity
- Intimidation
- overly guarded and closed off
- Result oriented, controlling, and attachment to outcomes
Typically the following causes disarming reactions:
- Collaborativeness
- Kindness
- Charm - people focused over self focused
- Smiles, acceptance, inclusiveness, appreciation, praises.
- Transparency and “down to earth”
- communicating emotions and being vulnerable.
- Light humor - self deprecating
- love
- process orienting, being present and letting go.
There is a context for both, and a healthy balance would be optimal.
I too felt I was overdeveloped in the former and have since really focused in on the latter.
here’s a cool link I read recently
My stress levels have gone down significantly since learning to give up obsessive control.
hope it helps
I definitely displayed all of these during 1-1 interactions with the guy I eventually pissed off enough for him to rally against me
The article you posted is really good. I need to give it a deeper read when I’m settled in somewhere cozy. That’s one to reflect on, thanks for sharing
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Genesis: Wed Aug 30th - Day 1 of cycle
Genesis: 3 minutes
Genesis: 10 seconds an hour later
Next listening day: Friday, Khan ST1&2, 3 mins each
21 day cycle ends, Wed Sep 20th (last listening day)… I set an alarm on my phone
PCC RESULT OF THE YEAR
Fuck.
I kicking myself for not realizing it sooner.
But on my VERY first loop of PCC a few months ago, the realization that came crashing through was there was one guy in particular who was extremely manipulative and extremely subtle about it.
I was blind and then I saw.
Hindsight is always 20/20… That’s the guy who campaigned to get me fired.
If I had run PCC earlier I would have known how to negate it from the start.
Just goes to show, PCC is so wildly important, not for any “social skills” but for knowing who to socialize with in the first place.
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Khan/Genesis on socializing
Did 2 loops of genesis - a normal 3 minute loop first, followed by a 10-second booster loop right before meeting up with people.
Went to a beach bbq with my gf’s company for work.
the happenings/story
They’re all young and cool, a tight knit group, all of them have their own distinct personality.
Had a really easy time coming and going between groups and having conversations. EVERYONE liked talking to me. Some people more, some people less, and I spent most of my time hanging out with a few of the guys I really respected which is AMAZING for me results wise because I hate ending up only connecting with the guy at the party I don’t actually respect, but have no one else to talk to.
Men or women didn’t matter it was effortless to connect with any of them. I was always comfortable. Even just sat in a chair and bumped to music happily if I wasn’t in a conversation.
Presence was off the charts. When we wrapped up to go home I thought “wow I haven’t been in my head for one second this whole event. I was either in a conversation, appreciating the beauty of the beach, or just genuinely enjoying watching someone else make/assemble pizza.
Oh yeah, talk about genesis and “adventure” scripting. How does bringing a whole wood stove pizza oven to the beach to make your own pizza from scratch sound for adventure?”
Overall
Between the two subs, felt an incredible amount of fun, presence, connection, adventure, ease, respect, non-needyness, and masculinity through all my interactions.
Not pointing any of those results towards attraction or sexuality but it’s easy to see how a solid social status and ability to connect is the start of any escalation attempts and make them 100x easier.
Khan + Genesis is an awesome combo!
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Thurs Aug 31, 12:30pm
Khan ST1 - 15 minutes
Genesis - 15 minutes
Ascension Chamber - 7 minutes
Going solo camping tonight,
random useless details about the 5 days of camping coming up
once I get to the summit and set up my tent, I’ll do a solo mushroom ceremony - it’ll be my first time doing psychedelics alone, and it’s the whole reason I’m going camping
Then coming back down tomorrow, going to my gf’s, and doing a 3-day-2-night camp trip.
Will be 5 days in a row camping, super excited! Thurs morn till mon night.
So I’ll have time to listen to some heavy subs!
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Buen Camino!
That’d be a fun month of hiking/walking/sightseeing!!!
Impostor Syndrome (is this an instant Khan/Genesis realization after my loops? Tbh idk)
Anyone else feel a lot of impostor syndrome after a year or two on subliminals?
@Vesper ??
I’ve transformed so much, so fast, and so dramatically, but the objective facts have changed faster than my own opinion of myself.
more relevant to the OGs… personal experiences with impostor syndrome
I have massive respect for myself, I know I’m not my old self. But have I fully owned who my new self is?
Sometimes people mirroring back their respect and admiration of me, it’s so intense, they think SO highly of me, that I feel it can’t be real. I must have been misleading them into thinking I’m something I’m not, somehow.
Sometimes when I talk about how good I am at sales I feel like a liar/fraud/impostor…
then I realize I am (lol. I was) the top guy at one of the top companies in this industry, anywhere in the world.
And I have an offer whenever I want it to work at THE NUMBER ONE company in this industry in the world, (the goatee’d Gen Z millionaire, IYKYK) because I was personally coached by one of his C-suite executives and that guy knows what I’m made of.
Then I think to myself, ok damn, that sounds pretty good on paper.
Then I start talking to people about how to run their businesses - people that I have extreme respect and admiration for myself - and feel like I’m stepping on toes, until I realize that my business was about 10x as big as theirs…
now… they may have me beat on sustainability,
but we’re talking about scaling, and I blow them away with some scaling advice and talking about scaling and sales and bottleneck-demolition in general… and then when they respond positively to what I’m saying, I get that nasty impostor syndrome,
That impostor syndrome stays until I realize they’re genuinely getting insane value out of what I said
I simplified it in a way they actually understood, and I’m not just some content-junkie - I’m only talking about lived experienced, or at the least, how they can apply the same principles I applied to get the result they want.
Then it’s kind of a half half where I realized it’s deserved confidence but the impostor syndrome hasn’t fully gone away.
It’s like I’m a fat chick
or I used to be a fat chick, and I’m still insecure even though I’ve got a rockin bod now.
Anyone else?
Is this part of why LBFH gives me stupid insane recon?
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Me, want to talk about it?
Yeah I’d be really interested in your case specifically because I’ve been watching your journal. You went from Viking to King to God
Where do you feel like you’ve transformed the most and your mind hasn’t adjusted yet?
I can relate. I have a following on social media and receive dm’s From strangers and women.I haven’t quite adjusted to it. Handling all the extra attention.
It’s like my brain can’t comprehend it all.
It’s a focus for me right now. To break through my inner limits, I’m building a custom for it.
Hope we can navigate through it
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Did you create the following before or after subs?
I’m getting an iPhone 14 pro and will probably do the same, build that up
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I created it last year as a creative outlet, and it did better than I thought it would.
This was while I was running subs
In my mind im still just a farmer.
I see this especially at social settings, im with friends and although it seems like the like me and enjoy being around me i always think to myself “there is no way they really like me, they just use me” i always feel like nobody can love me.
This got better tho since i got a gf, she shows me so much love that it’s starting to feel normal, but at the beginning i always thought to myself “it cant he real, no way someone can love me this much”.
And i still get the feeling people dont like me usually.
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