Journal: SFI – by Akin

Sym: S - 24s

Two people I was recently involved with romantically (my ex and the ‘goddess’) reached out to me these past few days, both had to do with some kind of closure.

My ex wanted to talk and clear up something that happened between us. And the other one reached out to ask for her things back.

Over the last few days, I’ve been really feeling the pain of a deep pattern: how I tend to forget myself whenever I’m too focused or emotionally invested in someone else. Sadly, I’ve lived like that for a long time.

Things have been unfolding at such a fast pace — especially in my relationships. I experienced so much in just two weeks with the goddess, and now it feels like it’s all stopped. I’m left sitting with everything I learned, and the inner shift her presence triggered in me.

As for my ex, the thing goes deeper… But even with her, I could feel more layers of disconnection unfolding.

. Rest day .

I feel sad today as I observe my internal movement with the subs and realize there are still deep layers within me where there’s no real space yet for true change to take root.

I keep up with my meditative practices — since starting Seductress, I’ve reconnected with the Source daily, asking for signs, releases, and the opening of new paths.

But even within this practice, there are days when I just feel really discouraged, and a strong urge to give up surfaces.

I’m trying to allow myself to be in this place without judging it too much

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