Emperor and QL have pushed me way beyond my boundaries when it comes to working on my business projects which are based on SEO.
Today, I recalled what I once learnt about reading patterns and I figured that that’s the golden key to my success. The key:
I’m heading there… STRONG!
Indeed. I’m running three affiliate websites, working hard all day long, doing work for at least a team of three. I’m seeing great progress SEO wise, and I’m “waiting” for the money.
Emperor…
One step at a time… I’m heading there!
Work…work…work. Even on Christmas… Bloody hell.
Anyhow, I’ve got lots of work done when it comes to my affiliate websites. More than I though I could get done.
It’s time to move to the second phase. Waiting for the results.
However, that “waiting” time is going to be devoted to my self-development in other areas: the gym, ladies and looking for some other business opportunities.
The more I think about how “all the evil that happened” (my most traumatic life experiences) is at the core of the most critical subjective limitations of mine the more I’m convinced that running Emperor along with Total Breakdown is just a must for me in order to get closer to my Zero Point (the point of complete self-alignment).
At the core of every subjective limitations there’s a trauma. The fear of a past pain. The fear of re-experiencing the pain. All the traumas constitute self-limitation that hinders the growth, that deviates the cycle of self-destruction and self-creation which is at the very core of self-actualization.
Becoming aware of those subjective limitations based on traumas and charged with their emotional burden, along with their root, is the way to releasing the emotional burden and that’s the very first step to dissolving the fear of re-experiencing the past pain, and overcoming those limitations.
It’s making another step beyond my own self-limitation, another step to “healthy” self-destruction and self-creation in my self-development. It’s heading towards my Zero Point a bit smoother.
There’s no faster lane of “subliminal” self-destruction than Total Breakdown. No faster lane of “subliminal” self-creation than Emperor. All of that based on the power of insights into my subjective limitations to dissolve them, and experiencing awakenings to living beyond the fear of re-experiencing the pain inflicted by “all the evil that happened”.
Taking action is not the prerequisite of the change. Experiences and the insights are. Action generates experiences, however. Whatever action it is. Mental or physical.
The point is to focus on overcoming the most critical subjective limitations. The most critical in terms of the desired growth. The most critical ones to overcoming myself, going beyond who I am and what I’m capable of currently, within what the scripting offers and I intend to capitalize on.
I’ve discerned those most critical subjective limitations of mine. Those fears and traumas at the core of all of that. Finding them was really easy.
I cast my gaze into my depths and saw what causes the most discomfort and fear in me. What those things I really don’t like and try to avoid are:
I don’t really like men as the presence of masculine (that used to be represented by my father) means being imperiled, being abused, being challenged way beyond my “combative” capacities and in my whole weakness and vulnerability. I dread that helplessness of the infant and child I was when facing an adult man who would abuse me however and whenever he wanted. Demasculinization, self-demasculinization to be precise, used to be my most potent coping mechanism. Masculinization of myself is the answer to that deepest subjective limitation of mine. Getting deeply familiar and comfortable with being masculine.
I don’t like people laughing as my father would use mockery and laughter to humiliate me. People’s laughter can make me feel awkward and socially inadequate even though I’m fully aware that the laughter has nothing to do with me. I avoid being social for the fear of being humiliated. “Civilizing” myself is the answer. Getting deeply familiar and comfortable with being social.
I suppress a deep fear of being rejected. The fear of being an “unwated child” like my father was (his mother didn’t want to give the birth and rejected him when he was an infant). I need to face his demon. I need to face the “devil inside me”. Becoming psychologically self-sufficient and socially “indifferent” is the answer. Getting deeply familiar and comfortable with displeasing people and getting rejected by them when it doesn’t really matter or is against my own self-interest.
Emperor and Total Breakdown are the answer.
I’ve made tremendous progress in those three areas already. However, those most critical subjective limitations have NOT been overcome utterly yet. On the other hand, I don’t need to be really masculine and social to achieve my current goals. However, sooner or later, that needs to gets done to improve my “mental baseline” and strengthen the psychological balance in me. Doing so is also opening the doorway of my holistic self-development further and that would foster the development of whatever aspect I would like to develop.
I’ve been working incessantly on my affiliate websites for the last two months. I’ve made significant progress but I’m still far from reaping the profit. I don’t give up, however. It’s not only about the purpose. Actually, it’s mainly about the growth. Organically, without trying to force any changes I would struggle to align with. That’s the way to go.
I’ve got lots of realizations on my path and who I am, and how much more I need to change to align with what’s the best in me. The key is taking the responsibility for my being in the world and later on… for the world. It’s not about being a “real man”, it’s about being a rational and empathetic human being that is strong enough to do what’s “right.”
I’m growing as a family man, living with my wife and her family. That’s great given that my own family was dysfunctional, and I never felt I had any. I have lots to learn from them… simple folk that values family above all. That’s a great opportunity to grow tremendously I would have never thought of.
I wish I could grow even more yet I see “objective” limitations. Yet, how many of them are subjective in fact? Patience and organic growth… that’s the way to go.
I’ve been listening to Emperor+Quantum Re-Balance and Sanguine for three months now.
Emperor has helped me get conditioned towards being really down-to-earth, grounded, solid and ambitious. Conditioned not only internally by reframing my thinking patterns but also externally by changing my environment, lifestyle, routines. On Emperor I decided to quit the job and focus on my business instead of working for making someone’s more well off. Fuck that, I’m too old for that shit.
I’m working like a machine laying the foundations for my “empire” (the life I want and am capable of having).
All of that aligns much more with my organic development as the most pernicious obstacles to my growth got removed. Namely aimlessness and procrastination.
It’s a real gem that gets out of you all that is best in every aspect of your life. Even ethical… which is vital, in fact.
Sanguine has been conditioning my nervous system, that suffered psychological abuse (bullying) and overload (in the form of social anxiety) for so many years, really effectively. Strengthening the devastated nervous system is the most essential factor in dealing with the physiological aftermath of traumatizing conditioning.
Quantum Re-Balance has improved my “intellectual fluency”. I’ve got deeper understanding of my mental patterns and where they don’t serve me and should get reconditioned. The biggest one is the self-deception that stemmed from getting traumatized and inclined me towards not taking the responsibility for myself or anything or anyone else. Moreover, that self-deception would try to excuse me from not being successful, putting the blame on the “one that shouldn’t be named” and on “all the evil that happened”.
This stack is the best intentional internal conditioning for my growth right now. This stack also aligns with the external conditioning that matches my intent (staying home and working on my projects over 12-14h a day).
The only drawback is that I’ve lost my great sense of taste when it comes to dressing up. lol On WB I would just dresss up “instincively” whilst now I struggle with getting myslef look at least half as stylish as I did on WB. lol
I’ve figured out that even while being utterly focused on my abilities and performance, I should never neglect the ethical aspect—since this is where the lion’s share of my drive truly lies. Without that, I might become something more akin to a machine than a human being—if existing like that were even possible.
I have many lessons to learn in this realm… the realm I thought I had been utterly immersed in for nearly my entire life. How wrong I was. This realm is more complex and more difficult than simply learning and performing because it’s not just about acting habitually, like in learning and performance… it’s about going beyond—beyond what is given right here and right now.
I can see them every day now… I can see them crippling me… I can see them twisting my thoughts… I can see them steering my hand… I can see them smothering me…
It looks like QL1 is digging even deeper than before when it comes to recognizing my mental and behavioral patterns. My level of self-consciousness (my thoughts) and self-awareness (how I interact with the world) has increased tons. I can see those patterns keeping a hard grip on me all the time.
I’m still trapped under the ice, frozen in time, haunted by the “evil that happened”… my little brother’s dead body in a puddle of blood… my mother going insane just in front of me… my mind getting frozen to… death. Days blinking like an eye. All so unreal… all so cold… all so nightmarish.
The empty shell with no soul trapped in the world so cold… for all the years of psychological abuse.
I need to get back to the root to gnaw at it till it is no more. The Year of the Black Dragon awaits me. EB+DRR when I’m done with what I’m working on right now.
I’m concerned. Are you alright? I don’t know if you are describing a metaphor, or an event that happened recently, or a memory of something that happened.
Yes, I’m okay. Thank you.
I’ve gained deeper insights into the aftermath of my traumatic experiences and how they shaped the way I feel, think, and behave. I realized that there’s still some healing and shadow work that needs to be done.
I’ve just switched to QL ST2, and I believe it will help me gain a better understanding of my inner landscape so that I can navigate it more effectively—especially when it comes to dealing with “the evil that happened” and trusting in the ice (the most resilient part of me—the “survivor”) even more.
Thanks.
After an initial phase of Quantum Activation, where negative memories of people ‘wronging’ me surfaced, I’ve noticed a significant boost in my cognitive abilities. My verbal fluency, in particular, has improved to the level I had back in university when I used to read a lot.
Another noticeable change is that after an initial ‘softening’ of my psychology, I can clearly feel it getting stronger each day. This has been an outstanding experience, and I hope the sub continues guiding me toward becoming more mentally solid than ever before.
After an initial slowdown, some procrastination, and doubts about my SEO projects, I’m now pushing forward with more strength and clarity than ever before. Good. This is exactly what I want. The sky is the limit.
Yesterday, I got some pre-results related to EB:ToG, which I listened to last night. A subtle nudge to do some shadow work had been gnawing at me for a while, yet only yesterday did I gain deeper insights into the darker corners of my psyche. Those insights helped me decide to run EB.
I need to monolithize my psychology. I realized that my focus shouldn’t be on my traumas—I’ve worked through them thoroughly—but rather on their aftermath, since that’s the main reason I use subliminals. It’s less about fixing and more about reforging “all that was broken” by the "evil that happened."
Upon yesterday’s pre-results, I figured out that there are two sides to “that part of me that got broken”:
- The weak side (the victim), which smolders and belittles me.
- The strong side (the survivor), which kept me sane… kept me alive when the “evil that happened” was happening.
Both are deeply rooted in trauma-coping mechanisms.
Now that I think about it, I see my quite complex shadow side clearly, and if I were to name it, there’s only one name that fits… The Avenger. The counterpart to my ideal ego, which is The Paladin (The Holy Knight). Both are strongly rooted in my own sense of justice and defiance against wrongdoing. Justice… and that whole rebellion against the “evil”. What perilous things, indeed.
I also added EoG Stage 1 to my stack, so right now, I’m running EB + EoG1 + QL2. I plan to stick with this stack for the next three months, after which I’ll evaluate my progress.
Oh no… EB has made me apathetic and my focus and productivity have dropped a lot. I can’t allow that, therefore, I was forced to give up on this sub. I’ll be running QL2 and EoG1 only for a while. I guess, untill the new Executive has got released.
At least I got some interesting and valuable insights into my psyche and some elements of my life. I guess, I need to wait until EB has got updated to do more of the work I need. For the time being it’s about building up my SEO projects’ online presence.
I’ve added Phoenix to my stack (Phoenix+QL2+EoG1), and it’s working great for the purpose I added it. Specifically, it’s reframing and integrating much of what EoG1 is uncovering. While EoG1 contains a lot of healing that’s not directly related to wealth or getting wealthy, it’s essential to address certain issues for ‘being successful in life.’
Additionally, QL2 is deepening my self-awareness and introspective skills, which seems to be supporting the overall improvement in my psychology.
I can definitely see how Phoenix is reframing my patterns for the better. The core of the change is my realizing unfavorable thinking, emotional and behavioral patterns and choosing to “ignore” them, to not follow them. There’s a slight underlying recon that is manifesting as temporary falling back into the aforementioned patterns and my mood swings which are fleeting.
My productivity remains really high even though I’ve been working really hard for over three months and the work gets really arduous from time to time. The consistency is the key. I’ve got it covered.
There’s some healing realted to EoG st1 I cannot discern yet as it seems to be reaching deeper levels than any other healing title I’ve listend to would. It feels more like patching than rehashing traumas which is very different to any “tech” I’m familiar with. However, Phoenix may be the lion’s share of that.
I did a three-day washout, and I now understand how important it is to do this when running healing subs like Phoenix, which I’m currently using. Those washout days (and nights) were pretty intense as I tackled the aftermath of my traumatic experiences, especially those related to my father. I had a dream about standing up to him and another one where I even used his chainsaw, something that was always beyond my reach and capabilities in my mind.
Thanks to Phoenix, I’m having better relationships with my wife and her family, as it works on dissolving unhealthy social patterns. That’s a good thing.
I stay productive, although I get distracted from time to time, as the work Phoenix is doing can be a bit taxing.
EoG1 seems to be working holistically in terms of the healing I’m experiencing. However, it might be the synergy between this sub and Phoenix that’s making it so effective.
When it comes to running QL (st2, currently), it seems like I’m getting accustomed to my “new normal” in terms of intellectual capabilities. Nothing extraordinary yet, but definitely beyond my “old normal.”
I’m taking a deeper dive into the less explored corners of my psyche, growing stronger by reconciling the parts of me that were once neglected—unwanted for their coldness and murkiness. I’m learning more about the devil inside—the part of me that could watch the world burn without a flinch. There’s so much hatred for humanity within me… yet just as much love since I can keep it all at bay with ease, genuinely smile at people, help them, and truly enjoy their company.
Phoenix is doing a lot of work that I have yet to understand.