Starting the second week I became sooo lazy, focusing super focusing on things which were not useful ! why ? It looks like it increases the negative aspects of my personality ? I don’t know what to do next !
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The first week I was so social and so focused in what I have to do. But now, the opposite !
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Sounds like Emperor Black is taking you through this aspect of the journey:
It will help you pull yourself in, focus on who you are
From one “lazy” person who procrastinates to another: if there’s something you’re avoiding, then there’s a reason for it…usually in the shadows.
How to put that “laziness” to work for you positively?
Here’s one man’s approach:
Talk to yourself. Ask the questions. Pay attention to the thoughts/feelings that come up. Write them down. Don’t worry if they make sense. Follow the threads. Eventually stop and see if you can take the action you were avoiding. If not, repeat the process until you determine if taking the action is something you truly want to pursue.
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Why do you feel drawn to the dark side ? why not meditate as @Alphamale has already suggested. You need to release the torment and fears deep inside you. Once you let go of the demons of your past you will be free.
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Meditation does not necessary mean closing your eyes and sitting.
The main component of meditation is observing.
Just try to observe and ask questions about the root of what you observed.
You’ll intuitively get a hint of the reason and emotion behind that thought and trigger.
After that try to consciously bring it in the surface, but be careful. Bringing up does not mean for example crying if the emotion attached to that thought is sadness, no.
You should not force yourself to cry, you should LET THAT emotion which is pushed into the dark come out.
Now that emotion may not be as intense as you expected, maybe it’s just an ordinary sadness. Or a simple bad memory.
My experience: Today a memory of my childhood pooped up where my father felt weak and did not confront some people. Now for me as a son AND as someone who ALWAYS knew his father as the strongest man on the planet(I know every kid thins that, but my father who was a dictator and laterfairly big political figure in the country kept our eyes and ears very closed and created this persona/personal reality that everyone was respectful and afraid of him)was a trauma, he kinda got bullied.
I realized this is trauma and I kinda consciously opened the way that memory to come up and it was weired that it was kinda connected with different feelings. Sadness maybe and also feeling powerful when releasing it, anyways.
Again, it was not that intense and seconds after releasing that I experienced a moment of clarity/subliminal buzz.
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🥹🥲👏🏽
They grow so quickly.
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U talkin about EB users?
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No, you specifically. In this case.
Just an acknowledgement of what I’ve seen in your reports since you started EB.
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I think it is part of recon. Feel already better after opening this thread 
EB seems easy at the beginning
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You don’t “neutralize it” you don’t fight it, you don’t ignore it, you don’t run from it, you don’t do anything but stare it right it it’s hollow eyes and say, “hello, nice to meet you.” Look at it. Just look at it. No struggling, no fighting, just look. After you’ve looked at it, accept it for what it is–a part of you.
It’s no more frightening or scary than your childhood desire to be a superhero. It’s just what it is. Once you’ve actually looked at it, suddenly it’s not scary at all. It shrinks, it fades back, and it’s not evil nor was it ever. It’s just a part of you that you can use or not use. Once you overcome your fear of your shadow, then it’s obvious how to “utilize” it. You get a dark thought, you laugh at it–a little inside joke between you and your shadow–and you give the waiter an extra big tip with a smile on your face.
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That’s just recon, man. Happens to me everytime. First week of every new sub I get a surge of positive energy and manifestations, then it slows down and I get “lazy” and start to doubt, then i break through some crap and it picks back up.
Just like how when your working out for the first time, you start getting results FAST then they slow down, dip a little (you get weaker) then they pick back up.
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Thanks papa 
One has to embrace there dark side and see the good in it.
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I think the dark stops being dark once you bring light to it.
The only reason it’s dark is because we don’t want to look there.
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People to often go to the dark side because they feel its easier to get power but they are very wrong. The dark side is not a cheat code to life.
It most likely that dark side is always there, just some emotions are repressed and pushed in there. And by there I basically mean under your conscious awareness.
These emotions can be agression, primal sexuality, most cold blooded parts of a human.
The mechanism is like this, when you are a child, naive and weak compared to your parents for example. You will fear your parents and when they treat you as they are disappointed in you(for example)(oh it’s sad when I visualize a kid trying to please an elder one since she/he’s afraid 
)
So you as a kid will start this narration that please love me, as every other shadow aspects usually have a sentence behind them. That is why when Emperor Black purges your fears everything kinda get purged, since the root of the child acting as pleasing is fear(oh it’s so sad 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦)
So the child creates this loop of trying to please the elder-it’s obvious that a child don’t give a damn about you if she’s not afraid. And the elder never gives the validation, so basically he/she subconsciously saying please love me…
That goes in the child SM, since his/brainwaves is theta and that kinda integrates in her mind.
When sye gets older than 7 and the programming gate kinda gets closed.
That 2,3 or 4 years old child’s logic is still acting, not the 25 years old man.
What does the man’s logic say? F**k him/her, I don’t need him.
But a 4 years old logic tells him that make him happy or else… (Fear).
So this loops go on and on and it tries to get validation just in order to remove that feeling of disappointment in himself.
Like real way to integrate this aspect of shadow is telling yourself I love you(to answer that please love me phrase).
Have you gone to the Q store and read about Ardent Light?
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What the hell is this shit LMAO
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5char
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