Recon is just a form of growth through pain and once it’s got sorted out we’re good to go and get more of our subliminal training.
My golden rule is at least 24 hours without it and without symptoms of being overloaded or heavy processing in the back of my head then I run my loop.
“growth through pain”
I have never heard someone say that here, but with ZP it fits.
My former subliminal fantasies were having “no pain”. But reading subliminal veterans endorse it is, in effect, calming. One must let go of something to move forward. This causes some level of pain.
@Invictus, I’ve been writing an email to my bitcoin miner. The tab’s open, and I’ve not finished it.
But you spoke about projecting my anger onto others. My email blasted him for sabotaging withdrawal efforts time and time again. It’s been almost 3 years, and we’ve not paid off a simple 5k fee to extract it this whole last year. I am pissed, and I began writing him since I imagined me standing up in various ways to my coworkers I work with locally. It stirred me to take action. With my miner, I wondered “am I ready to say goodbye to all the earnings?” To not feel like I’m allowing myself to be used any more, I’ve considered it.
I’m just tired of feeling f***ed over.
In this email, I owned that I’d not started a business, and that was my own doing. Once I wrote that, I wondered where this anger is coming from.
I’ve allowed myself to be walked on.
I’ve passive-aggressively passed on responsibilities since I was afraid of being responsible for bad outcomes.
I’ve been afraid to let go of old fears and feelings in exchange for new ones.
I’ve been looking for someone to blame.
My last line was “You don’t care”. I slowly admitted right after that “I haven’t either”, and that made me stop. I’ve not cared about the money. I’ve not cared about others in this. I’ve not really cared about me.
My heart has begun to feel the pain of this and other dysfunctional relationships. I’ve hidden from its pain using denial and distractions. But it’s slowly, slowly coming through. I’ve created, allowed, and encouraged unworkable situations. I have.
I’m just not sure how much longer I can keep it (not) working like I’ve done. Not sure I want to either. LBFH must be working in me. Results are coming through.
I’ve not sent the email. I won’t.
That’s why Godlike Masculinity
Its fast acting and perfect for stuff like that.
Taiga or Ginseng are adaptogens that replenish your energy and relaxes you at the same time.
They transform stress into usable energy.
If you work like you do, at some point you will be depleted. It’s better to do something before your burnt out.
Schisandra is a powerhouse of an adaptogen.
It fills up your energy realy fast.
10-15 berry’s at morning are enough.
Trust me on this
Are they equally potent from your experience, considering they are of a different nature one may suspect their adaptogens also differ?
Same family
Taiga is a little bit weaker than Ginseng in general but it’s more stress transforming.
I drink taiga tea daily and I have zero stress in my life no matter what happens
Also I have the experience that the subs work better because I am relaxed
I’m lonely. I came home, turned on my computer, got some food, and am seeing myself ignore my insides quite easily. I’m just feeling it, as I almost reached out to another guy I know, but this loneliness comes from LBFH allowing me to be aware of such changes.
I almost want to hide, but keeping my mouth shut in that–I’m doing the opposite now–does not help me.
I’m going to get some rest. I need it.
Better to feel the loneliness than be numb to it all. Hang in there.
3rd rest day
I did something for me this morning. I was iffy about requesting it, but I have.
Still on the hurricane clean up route, I overworked myself some yesterday trying to follow a coworkers example. In short, my back is healing this morning. I requested a different route today.
Since I’m still waiting on a reply, old guilt feelings have risen. Fear and guilt have held me back a lot in the past.
I have also struggled with something like that in the past, pretty much my entire life. Wasn’t until last summer that I started to work on it. I get it though, whenever I was needed for whatever purpose or task, I would do it no matter what shape I was in, because I didn’t want to let the other person/people down. So no matter what I would just a Yes Man.
Until I quit doing it and started to respect myself a lot more. In the beginning I had the same feelings of guilt that would rise and sometimes I stuck through and sometimes I caved and got guilted in or guilted myself in. The more you do it the easier it will become and that feeling will be a lot easier to deal with.
Thank you for that. I actually got what I requested today by default. I’m good with it. Just heading out from work now
Lol maybe we are brothers from another mother 
. In any case it’s a good thing cause you can take from where I’m coming from as a way to proceed down your path 
4th rest day
Thanks Uber. I woke up considering mainly positive points today, and I bring this up in part since whenever I’ve thought about your journey out of that rut, I’ve heard and felt myself saying “I couldn’t do that. I’ve only failed before.” I’ve struggled heavily with believing in my own capabilities my whole life, literally. I’ve discouraged myself.
But something is building and brewing in me, which points to LBFH and even Sanguine itself. It’s seeing and wanting me to succeed. It feels possible.
Waking up with this thinking is beautiful. Last night I got ready for bed, and I began seeing how my present work commitment is pretty undesirable. I’ve just had no freedom time-wise. I was feeling controlled, and then realizing I really don’t like it. It’s all management though, not the job.
But this morning I felt not owned by this system. I’ll take that. Positivity feels so much better.
I’m going to move this discussion back to my LBFH journal. Thank you, all of you, who made me think while here. I truly appreciate you.
LBFH is the best sub in the shop and its free.
Self-Love is the base for everything.
This happens to me in Dragons Reborn, when instead of stopping for a while I run the other subs thereby making the energy more intense.
It is more appropriate to rest it than fight it out. I give it a rest, I don’t interact with people were I know it will only fuel my anger.
I take special attention on my reaction and response, then when I become good at it the environment changes the way I wanted it to be.
Controlling is different from allowing it flow.
Had this experience yesterday after 2 customs with each 3 cores in it.
Recon came for 30 min, my soul started crying and hurting and I stood there and go internaly : no no no my friend, not this time, where is my love? Ahhhh here it is (thanks to a halve year of LBfH) I let the love Flow into the recon and sing a little song : this love I have penetrates the core of my pain until I have no more pain only joy.
5 min later recon is gone and I felt a surge of new Joy I didn’t know exist
Sometimes Chuck Norris is the best way
I have an ahha moment with this. Thanks Invictus. My boss looks like superman who works continously and many everything, but now I know he keeps depressing all the tiredness, negativity inside his own bottle. He looks calm and nice, but don’t know when the bottle will burst. Toxicity for sure.
Khan + PCC sounds like the best “deal with blue collar shittalkers” stack