Back in the Driver's seat

Journals - Major Programs
#61

Monday

96.0kg

Emperor - 15 minutes

I did a 15 minute loop of Emperor this morning. I had a good day, it definitely knocks any hesitancy out of my system. I like the grounded feeling, it’s something I’ve been missing of late. I had all those other plans like AM, Wanted, DR:LD, 8 day washouts, but I thought screw it, I’m running Emperor for the full 15 minutes on Monday and DR:LD for the full 15 minutes on Thursday each week and nothing more. I could crash and burn or it could be what I’m looking for.

#62

Tuesday

95.9kg

After slow start the calorie counting is doing its job. I’ve been fasting and eating keto breakfast at about midday and then carbs and whatever I want at night until calories reached. It’s working better for me and even though weight loss is a bit slower, at least I feel better energy wise.

Still feeling good from that Emperor loop yesterday. I’m pretty flat out with work at the moment and am looking forward to the challenge. I’ll stick with this approach and do DR:LD on Thursday. I probably won’t update this journal much now. I’m keeping a few offline note trackers in a notepad instead. I’m down to 1.5 cups of coffee now so almost achieved that one cup a day.goal. I think it’s doing something, at the least I don’t have heart burn anymore from all that black coffee :coffee:

I’ll update again soon. Peace :pray:

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#63

Friday

I did a DR:LD loop yesterday. I lost some of those good Emperor feels. Maybe I should just do Emperor when I feel like it. The subs are better for me not following a strict listening schedule. I feel a bit suffocated following strict schedules with most things.

What I liked about the Emperor loop is that I focused less on caring about other people and comparing myself to others. The internal fears and hesitancy goes away after listening to Emperor.

I did get a bit shook up after two people deleted me from social media. I probably shouldn’t care, I didn’t really interact much with them and wouldn’t really call them friends. Oh well, fkers.

I kind of want to run wanted too for better looks and improved body. I look like I could use something that’s for sure :sob:

:eggplant: strength remains at 100% after Emperor loop. I had a lull in libido and now I think about it, it could have due to the keto diet I was on. Who knows though.

I’m still at 1.5 cups of coffee. I’ll probably drop down to one cup soon and have achieved my goal. I might even quit completely but I kind of like that habit of waking up to a black coffee.

No phone in bed I broke last night and one other night earlier in the week. I was watching YouTube and Facebook videos. The calorie counting is going well but I haven’t worked out much. I’ve been subcontracting labour on a large paving job most of the week so I’m pretty tired not being used to it so no desire to workout at all.

That’s about it, I haven’t been watching tv or looking at news. It’s just getting too obvious now there is an agenda and humanity is being divided and conquered. I just don’t give a shit about anything unless it’s directly effecting me, like their COVID rules for example. I’m still not over that one but there seems to be crises after crises, so I’m switching off.

I’ll probably stick with Emperor, use DR:LD infrequently and maybe look at testing Wanted. Not the black version, just the original.

#64

Monday

Messing around with the subliminals at the moment. I just have this urge to experiment more. I’m doing a loop of Primal followed by Wanted.

I’ll see if it makes any difference to my week. I’m pretty much on top of everything else at the moment. I’m fully booked out at work this week, I’ve now cut down to one coffee :coffee: in the morning. Now I’ve tested, I’m fully committing to counting calories.

The Emperor loop last week was great, but I don’t know if I want it as my regular sub yet. Primal has a lot of objectives that I could benefit from and Wanted’s physical shifting interests me but I mostly wanted to test the loop of that to see how my wife responds, if at all.

DR:LD hits hard, I might keep that one in mind for slower times. I can’t be walking around in my head all day. I swear after I did that loop, I was walking to truck or shed to get a tool for whatever I was doing and I’d get there and be completely blank because I was all in my head from that sub. Not that it’s always a bad thing, I must have been coming to terms with something.

I’ll see how this new combination goes this week. Not sure what I’ll run on Thursday, maybe the same as today again, or maybe Primal and Chosen. Primal, Wanted and Chosen sounds like a good stack.

#65

I’ll probably stick with primal and wanted. Seems like a good mix. I finished a paving job this morning. It was a good experience and I learnt a few tricks the past week from the pros.

Don’t know if it’s wanted scripting but I got a haircut and clean shaved. I’m looking pretty good. Unfortunately I’ve eaten all my calories and it’s not yet 5pm. My appetite was crazy today, I’m probably undereating but now physical activity with work will decrease, the diet intake should be more sustainable.

I miss drinking coffee. I have one very weak coffee now the past few mornings. I don’t think quitting is providing much benefit but it is good not to be dependant on drugs. I might completely quit, it should be easier coming into summer as I’d imagine quitting hot drink to be harder in winter.

I’m damn tired though, slept like a log last night. I found it hard to wake up, and I’m glad the big job is finished. Nofap is going pretty good, I lost count of days but I’ve only been having sex.

I flick through the tv stations sometimes but it’s just all trash to me. It’s like I can see through all the manipulation and bullshit. Not only news, but all the shows are such low level trash. Sometimes those sword forging shows or cabin builds are good to watch but everything else… Yeah, nah…

An indigenous voice to parliament referendum failed in my country, which was a good thing because the people behind it were all communists. I think we would have lost more rights, including property rights, had it passed. Plus they expect reparations paid through increase taxes. It seems the world has collectively lost the plot.

#66

Wednesday

Did another loop of the primal wanted combo this morning. Feeling pretty good. Definitely have a DGAF attitude on this. Different to Emperor, probably better. I’ve been a bit tired, probably because I worked all weekend too and haven’t had a day off for a while. Things are slowing down again though. There’s not much grass growing with this shit dry weather so I’m not busy mowing any lawns which is the best money maker for effort required. Not much I can do about it, I’ll have to do whatever I can. I can subcontract for both a fencing and a landscaping company now when they need extra labourer but the money is not as good as doing my own work but it’s better than nothing.

#67

Friday

No subs today. I wasn’t really in the mood after having problems this week with extended family. Why do all these shitheads like to cause trouble I often wonder. Like we never heard from them, not even a text message for about 4 months and they get in contact wanting to drop around one day but we were busy, and now they’re letting us know that they “don’t feel welcomed at our home”. Like just fuck off then is what I’d say but wife doesn’t let me. It’s her side of family. I’m sick of every self centred dickhead at the moment, and some of my clients too, just wow. Maybe I need some LBFH.

That aside, I’m having some breakthroughs on the self development front. I’m better integrating self care in the form of good nutrition and exercise as not something I do, but part of my life. I’ve been sleeping quite a lot, going to bed at 8-9pm. I have a feeling it’s caffeine related, as I’m now down to a very weak instant coffee each morning. I think I’ll completely rid my system of caffeine and allow my brain to recover. I’m back on the semen retention, I think it has a good effect. I’m not sure how long it lasts but after a couple of days I start to feel more energetic and happy. I don’t notice much difference between masturbation and sex in this regard, both are draining. Maybe if I was having sex with someone other than my wife it might be different.

I’ll kick off fresh next week with some subs. After my recent months on subs, I kind of doubt that if chasing $$$ is something that interests me. I have simple tastes and simple lifestyle and I like it that way. I enjoy working, but I don’t really do it for the big money. If I have a roof over my head, food on the table, a comfortable bed to sleep in and a backup supply of money incase TSHTF, then what else do I need.

It’s kind of hard with this attitude of not wanting much to pick subs that might be worth running. I think LBFH sounds good, maybe even try that solo or pick it up with genesis again.

#68

Saturday

After messing around the last weeks, I have decided to take a break from subs and focus more on healthy living. I’ll check back in and experiment again when the MAX upgrades happen. Adios.