Ohhh my God how did this happen.
This is shit now. I have 8 customs prepared and payd. Al between 21-23 modules
Thank you @Hermit
Ohhh my God how did this happen.
This is shit now. I have 8 customs prepared and payd. Al between 21-23 modules
Thank you @Hermit
I need to test a few things
I think the problem is I did 3 weeks DR, Elixir Ultima 10 times +1loop Executive and 1 loop RegenerationQ custom the same day, made me into a Salad
after this 2 weeks, ( washout then DR Custom solo) if I am stil in Saladmode itâs the custom.
2 custom makes 40 modules+ that can be the problem
Even 1 custom plus another major title can be overload
And if itâs the custom then maybe split it in 2 days listening for 1 loop. 15min at morning 15 min after 8 hours, next day the rest with the same procedure
I need to test this the next couple of months
What a coincidence, I actually wanted to pm SaintSovereign about it in the next days.
So my first custom was a 21-module one, and I got EXTREME reconciliation:
After that, I build another custom with just 14 modules, but in TERMINUS strength, and I am now getting close to no reconciliation in comparison. The reconciliation on my 21-module custom was something else entirely, I never ever experienced something like it. I still got results, but I felt very uneasy in that time period. And I was basically having reconciliation with no break even after just one loop. It is very hard to describe but it felt like a nagging feeling in the background all the time. Like that the sub wasnât working with me but against me or did not get accepted by my subconscious mind. Now after months of running my Terminus custom, and then a Ql custom which is made with Pragya, Merger of Worlds, and other modules to help with running subs, @Hermit urged me to run and try one loop of my fist custom. I did, and again while running it I had this feel âI donât accept thisâ, and then later went to bed instead of working like planned and felt very uneasy. This custom stays un-runnable for me. I thought that it might be related to some modules or the module combination, but this looks more like a common pattern with 21-module customs now. Maybe @SaintSovereign you could investigate further what exactly is causing this. At least, I personally would everybody suggest to NOT GO beyond the 20 module recommendation.
I woud stop the machine to produce anything thatâs over 20 modules.
I was dumb for not asking if a core counts as a module but seriously itâs 800 dollars to build my customs.
Thatâs a lot of money
Better stop in the future the possibility to go over 20 modules in total.
If the problem is already known please stop it.
I am going to test it out
I Wil Wright in 1 month again here.
If the same happen I pm Saint Sovereign
If not I delete my posts about that
Today after 5 horrible emotional overload days I am walking in the streets and in one moment I came to the point where I Coud not hold/bear it (al this emotional shit) any longer.
I instantly vomited on the street a super dense one.
Now I feel as if a couple of mountains are gone and I have fire in my heart all the time.
As ugly as it was the last 5 days, if this is the reward I get, I am going to do it again
Donât be surprised if I complain in 2 weeks again
Back again after some abstinence
Now many things happend, where do I startđ¤
First of AL and this sounds crazy but for the next 4-8 weeks I stay on ST1. Out of curiosity or impatience I took out the pendulum and ask myself how long I need to stay on DR st1.
Between 4-12 weeks.
I can lisen to 2 loops a day now, but I still need time to let the sub work and continue when I am ready.
I had a couple of vomits during the last 10 days and they are mainly because of this 1 loop of RegenerationQ custom I did 10 days ago.
I was going through the topic of death the last 2 days and can let it go now, I found a new life supporting state and energy.
I was sitting yesterday in the hamoc and ask myself if there is a way that the people of this world can live without a external authority/government⌠And then it struck me like lightning : yes, feel life as Worthy.
It was feeling of worth and it override me and its still here.
Tomorrow I go cooking for my brother and AL the people who live in his house. I plan on making a super spicy curry with meat and one vegi.
Today I was shopping and instead of meat I decided to go with a vegi curry.
I think this is it. This one Realization hit deep and I like it.
Sure I can tell you a few shit storyâs, even slight horror storyâs but they are al down the toilet riding in the pipesđ
Today something unbelievable happend
I struggle since child with my super sensitive perception. I was always working to dampen my senses/feeling⌠Because I can see things in me and others that let me no space for relaxation, except when I am at home. When I am one on one with a person I can say/see/hear/feel wher the other person is/energetic movement in the body of other is easy/natural for me to observe and so on and so fort.
Today I rolled a cigarette after a sauna and I Coud not roll it properly because my fingers where very soft. So I rolled the cigarette anyway but with no care.
Then it hit me for 20 min so hard.
Sharpen the saw and polish the diamond.
Instead of dampening I polish my abilities from now on.
What a fantastic experience
Thank you @SaintSovereign and @Fire
My last post is 13 days ago.
Not so subtle changes happen.
I am very relaxed
I have quiet in my mind
I can lisen to 3 loops per day.
I continue for 2-4 weeks dr1 custom
Its working sooo good and every week gets better and better.
I can hardly describe what is going on and this means something
I like it very much, how smooth it is and how it makes me feel.
I change the way I talk to myself, to a good an warm manner
I let other people have theyr view without the need to change them or force my opinion on them, because I go my way and they go their way and I know my way leads to fruition in multiple ways and if someone wants to join me, this person is welcome.
I stopped to get angry and upset with how the people are and instead direct my energy to self betterment.
I search for actions that fulfill me/my life
Letâs see what happen in the next 4 weeks
I am 1 day into break days and I feel that I am ready for stage 2 of DR.
I never had that. This week or Next.
I already created a custom for that.
Now I am somhow ready for st 2 so letâs go
I startet Dr st1 on 20. November and started Dr st 1 as a custom on 20 Dezember.
I wantet to switch to ST2 2 weeks ago but somehow I know that I can go another 4-8weeks on st1.
Since yesterday some realy deep shit is crawling up
Boy o boy what a ride, now I realy know why Subliminalclub said âbe readyâ
I have this notion of standing in a fire and old burnt crust is falling down.
I knew I had to procceed
I wantet to switch 2 weeks ago because I thought that st 1 doesnât do much anymore (but I knew itâs working like crazy, I Coud sense it working in my head the whole time)
I said to myself 2 weeks ago-this is going to be a good week.
I never said that in my life
This is going to be a good week I sayd 2 days ago and now so much shit crumbles
Great product, Bravo @SaintSovereign and @Fire
After I fired my father and mother last year, I fired my brother today.
Now the topic of family is finish and a whole new capitel without restrictions begins for me.
Finaly I can breathe and a new level of confidence is arising
Day 1 of st 2 custom.
Dragon Reborn ST2 Core
Chosen of Venus
Immortalâs Blade
Khronos Key
Solitude
Virtue Series: Temperance
Virtue Series: Hope
Pride Unbroken
Current Invoker
Sanguine
Mosaic
Omnidimensional
Gratitude Embodiment
Eye of the Storm
Spiritual Freedom
Deep Sleep
DEUS
Joie de Vivre
Submodel Alpha
The Flow
Day 1
1 loop
After 5 min I ran to the toilet vomiting emotional stuff out
After 10 min I ran to the toilet vomiting emotional stuff out
Then I breaking down on the ground and cried for 5 min until all sadness was gone
Then I start shaking like a shocked child
Then I start feeling liquid power flowing through me, it was a thick white in all colors glittering liquid and it flows from my back into my stomach.
After 30min I knew that this is it, thatâs what I was searching for my whole life.
After the loop was finished I proceeded the day and many emotional topics appeared but I change them instantly.
THANK YOU @Fire
ST2 is great and has/gives the power needed to make healing effortless
Its beautiful Art
I included one loop st1 (normal version, not custom) before bed.
I was doing really well the whole day, but now I am crying again.
The topic is :loneliness
Somehow I had this plan in my mind
1loop st1 bevor bed and 1 loop custom ST2 at morning, so that during sleep st1 works unhindered.
Letâs see what happens
Day 2
Yesterday I lisen to loop of st 1 befor bed and instantly I felt very sad because of loneliness
So I crawl into bed and had an awful night.
Today I stood up and played ST2 Custom
5 min in and I run to the toilet vomiting pretty hard
10min in and I run to the toilet, vomiting even harder, then again a mini breakdown, shaking and another round of vomiting so hard my whole body hurts.
After that I decided not to run st1 anymore because for the last month it brought up the same topic(loneliness) , without loosing in strength.
So I know Loneliness I can not fix myself, I have to get in action.
1 hour after the loop I packed my stuff and was going to the mountain, because on the mountain is the only place to meet people now.
The whole day some trauma stuff is coming up and I just erase it easily. The moment it pops up, it looses its power.
This is realy great
Day 3
Yesterday I was going to bed and I Coud not sleep for 1 hour, in this hour I noticed that pain brought up and then somehow closing, like a scar that is Miraculously healing.
I stood up 30 min ago, I am all ready 26min into the first loop.
I ran 2 times to the toilet vomiting
After 16 min my heart started to pulsating in pain. I know this pain and itâs like a flesh wound in my heart that spreads to my hands an head.
Simultaneously warm liquid healing energy is flowing into my heart and is now healing this pain.
ST 2 IS Beautiful
Loop 2 starting now
Did 3 loops yesterday and I am in vomit mode since 8 hours
No loop today
DR St1&2 as a custom is unbelievable powerful
It knocked me out for 4 hours strait into bed and I did the last loop 16 hours ago
Healing is constantly going on.
I started Monday with the first loop
Tuesday 1 loop
Wednesday 3 loops
Pause until now and tomorrow.
I feel the Healing flowing through me and itâs soooo fantastic goooooood.
Much of traumatic stuff looses power.
Unhealthy states pop up and loose power
I can steer into the direction I want after only 3 days
WOW, WHAT A FANTASTIC WORK YOU DID @Fire
And @SaintSovereign
THANK YOU FROM MY HEART